My Own Annual Performance Review: The Feminine Wiles Top Five Recipes

OK.  I’m not in school, so I don’t have a report card to look forward to next week.  (Not that I’m certain, however, that everyone Chez Wiles receiving a report card next week is actually looking forward to it.)

And as a stay-at-home-mom, I don’t have a manager to give me an annual performance review.  (Am I the only person who actually looked forward to those meetings?)

And let’s face it, loving and thoughtful as they may be, Snarky Son (SS) and Darling Daughter (DD) aren’t going to leap out of bed tomorrow morning and exclaim, “Wow!  You did all that laundry while we were sleeping?”

Pity.  Because I bask in positive feedback like a teenaged girl in the 70s basked in baby oil at Folly Beach.  (Oh wait.  I was that girl.)

Although I never planned it, that positive feedback is one reason Feminine Wiles, which I’ve now been writing for nearly a year, has been so gratifying.  I’m downright dazzled by the number of folks who tell me they’ve read my posts or tried my recipes.  And I’ve been somewhat surprised at which recipes have been most popular.  Take a look at this Top Five list for 2009:

1. Shrimp and Grits.  I’m crazy about this recipe myself, because it can be made ahead.  In fact, it looks like I liked it so well that I used it in two different blog posts.  My bad.
2. Killer Blue Cheese Dip.  I actually ate this recipe at several holiday parties this year.  And I’m not sure that other people don’t make it better than me!
3. Waffle of Insane Greatness.  I’m not sure whether it was the name that drew people’s attention, but truly – the name is not an overstatement.
4. Red Sangria.  Granted, while the kids were at camp this summer, I managed to post not one, not two, but three different recipes.  Plus, I somehow manage to reference sangria in about every third post.  Couldn’t skew the results, could it?
5. Bacon Bloody Marys.  I got more than double the usual number of clicks when I ran this post, including hits from readers in Israel, Singapore, Romania, and Anchorage, Alaska.  I suspect, though, that this is partially because I managed to use the words, “Spiderman,” “’bacon,” “underwear” and “Bloody Marys” all in the same headline.  From what I hear, though, folks who tried it were pleasantly surprised.
   

So what does this tell us?  Other than, that for reasons surpassing understanding, forty percent of the Top Five list are alcoholic beverages?

Beats me.  But here at the start of a new year, I’m astounded and gratified by the response to Feminine Wiles.  I’d originally thought it would be read by a few family members and friends.  And only the ones who took pity on me, at that.  I had no idea how lucky I was.

So thank you.  What better way to start 2010.

Cheri

PS – Well, heck yeah, there’s a new recipe after all that yacking!  The kids and I had a great pork roast this week.  I usually grill pork roasts (to keep from having to wash a roasting pan), but with this wicked cold weather, it would be days before the roast was done.  This version was great – and as the kids know, the pork fried rice later this week will be even better!

Garlic and Rosemary Crusted Pork Loin Rib Roast

One 3 ½ or 4 lb. pork rib roast
3 large cloves of garlic, minced
2 teaspoons fresh rosemary, minced
1 ½ teaspoons kosher salt, divided
½ teaspoon fresh ground pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
½ cup dry white wine
½ cup chicken broth (or water)

Preheat oven to 400.  On cutting board, use large knife to cut together garlic, rosemary,½ teaspoon of salt, and pepper.  Continue to mince together until paste-like.  In a small bowl, combine garlic-rosemary paste and olive oil.  Rub mixture over roast, and place, fat-side up in a large roasting pan (no need for a rack).  Sprinkle with remaining 1 teaspoon of salt and roast for 30 minutes.  Reduce heat to 350.  Pour wine and chicken broth (or water, if using) in bottom of roasting pan, and roast until internal thermometer registers 155 degrees (approximately one hour).  When done, remove from oven and allow to rest 15-20 minutes before slicing and serving -- maybe with Simply Sublime Potatoes Au Gratin?

Another New Year. Another New Year's Resolution. Bring On The Potatoes Au Gratin.

Yes.  I have a calendar.  An up-to-date one, at that.  But like so many stay-at-home-moms, my “New Year’ didn’t begin until today – the day the kids returned to school.  And holy educational system, Batman – this was one rocky day.  Cranky, tired, disorganized and unfocused.  And I’m guessing the kids’ day wasn’t much better.

I’m sheerly overwhelmed by the “things to be done” – the undecorating, the clutter-clearing, the return-to-schedule.  Not to mention, of course, the “New Year’s Resolutions.”  (Seriously, am I the only one who imagines that bellowed in a deep, echoing, theatrical voice?)

According to USA.gov (whose slogan, “Government Made Easy” makes them a wee bit suspect), the most popular New Year’s resolutions are:

• Lose weight

• Manage debt

• Save money

• Get a better job

• Get fit

• Get a better education

• Drink less alcohol

Hmm.  Plainly, I don’t need to draft my own list, because that one is pretty much on target.  Check, check, check, check, check, check and -- sigh --  check (except for sangria, natch).

Post-holiday time is already rife with “things to do.”  Do we really need to add to that list just because yet another 12-month period has begun?

Besides, in some ways, I began my own “new” year several months back when I became divorced.  I’ve got plenty on my plate – plenty that no one would ever want to see itemized.  Like, “call school to explain change in marital status.”  Or, “find reasonable health insurance as unemployed homemaker.”  Or how about, “learn to recognize when you’re being hit on.  And not."

Honest.  It’s harder than you'd think.

Nevertheless, I do have my own list of “good intentions” for 2010, and perversely, most of them coincide with the items listed on USA.gov.  Turns out, I’m just another common citizen.

But given the rocky start to my own New Year, I’m going to ease in.  I did go to the Y today (check, “get fit”) and I did not drink sangria tonight (check, “drink less alcohol”), and I even considered spending the next month as a vegetarian.

The following recipe, however, probably won’t help me accomplish that top goal, “lose weight.”  But holy potato, Batman, it is so very good and easy – and makes for a much easier return home from that first day back to school.

Simply Sublime (and Sublimely Simple) Potatoes Au Gratin

It's hard to believe that something so decadent is so simple to make.  You can dress these up, I suppose, using fresh thyme or minced garlic or half gruyere and half parmigiano-reggiano.  A little zip of cayenne wouldn't be out of place either, but basically, all you need is butter, potatoes, cheese and cream.  Yum.

2 tablespoons butter

3 medium sized baking potatoes, peeled and sliced thinly

1 cup (about ¼ lb.) gruyere cheese, grated

1 cup cream

kosher salt

fresh ground pepper

½ teaspoon ground thyme

Preheat oven to 350.  Use 1 tablespoon butter to grease bottom of medium sized baking dish.  Place one layer of potatoes (not overlapping) on bottom of dish.  Top with 1/3 cup cheese.  Sprinkle with salt, pepper, thyme (and, if you’re feeling fancy, 1 minced clove garlic).  Repeat layering (except for thyme and garlic) two more times.  Pour cream over all, and bake for 1 hour, until browned and bubbling.  Remove from oven and let rest 15-20 minutes before serving.  Eat extravagantly.  No need for meat.

The Top 10 “Overheard In My House” 2009. In Other Words, Can You Not Hear Yourself Speaking?

I love this time of year – not just because of all the holiday gatherings and new movie releases and celebratory drinks (Bacon Bloody Mary, anyone?), but also because we’re finally, finally, finally reaching the conclusion of those irritating Snuggie commercials, featuring -- inexplicably -- full-grown adults oblivious to the fact that they are wearing unusually-flammable bed coverings in lieu of clothing to sporting events.

Thank the advertising geniuses that be, those mawkish Lexus “December Holiday Event” ads are also winding down.  Which means I no longer have to ask, every time one airs (which feels like every six and half minutes), “Cheese and rice.  Did she really have no idea she was getting a car?  And where did he get that big-ass bow?  At the big-ass Wal-Mart?”  (Sorry, Mom.  I know how you feel about that kind of talk.)

Actually, what I love most about this week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is the cornucopia of lists proclaimed and broadcasted in every media outlet:  The 50 Best Movies of 2009, Most Popular Baby Names for 2009 (Jayden?   Really?), YouTube Top 2009 Videos (including the JK Wedding Video I adored) Noteworthy People Who Died In 2009, and the Top Ten Cryptozoology Stories of 2009.  (Honest folks, you can’t just make this stuff up.  Or, considering the cryptozoology example, maybe you can.)

I guess I’m so enamored of these 365-days-summarized-in-bullet-points, because I’m an unrepentant listmaker myself.  My own year-end wrap-up comes straight from posts I’ve made this year on Facebook.  So here now, the Top 10 “Overheard In My House*” quotes from 2009.

*Note:  These are actual quotes, but to protect both the innocent and the guilty, I’m not naming names.  Although yes, you could probably guess.

Overheard In My House -- 2009

1. My child, “I didn’t know what you meant.”  Me, “When I said, ‘Get the wet towels off the floor,’ you didn’t know what I meant?”
2. From a child trying out for a sports team: "I don't want to practice. Practicing doesn't make any difference at all. Everyone knows that."  Me: [Silent.  But only because rolling eyes don’t make any noise, and with enough practice -- which I have -- neither do grinding teeth.]
3. From a teenager, “You know, I might want to go to the University of South Carolina.  It looks like you don’t have to know what you want to do there, but you still get to have a lot of fun."
4. Me, "No. That would be three sleepovers in a row. Come Sunday, you would be so awful that I would do something awful and that means I'd get arrested." My child, " Just let me do it, Mom. I can break you out of jail." 
5. Four weeks before Christmas, spoken by a child who should know better, "I know it's $500, Mom, but it's better for you, because then you’d only have to get me one gift."
6. From a child, hoping to go to a friend’s house, "I DO SO understand. I've got to do my homework, take a shower, pick up my room and eat dinner first. So do you think I can go over there in about five minutes?"
7. Me, “You’re hungry?  How about a bowl of cereal, or some scrambled eggs, or a quesadilla, or a peanut butter sandwich, or some nachos, or a bowl of soup, or some buttered pasta?”  My child, sighing, “No.  There’s nothing to eat in this house.”
8. Son, "Mom, where's the rug?" Me, "You mean the 6 x 8 rug that was at the top of the stairs, which I rolled up and removed FIVE days ago for cleaning?" Son, "Yeah. That one. Where is it?"
9. My child, “I don't have any homework today. Unless you count those vocab words. And reading. And that presentation that's due tomorrow. And there's a math test, too. But, you know, you can't really study for math. So, nothing, really.”
10. And the prizewinning quote (drumroll, please), overheard in my house, 2009, spoken by a teenager, “When you write down what I say, I sound stupid.”

Ahem.  Nuff said.  I may, however, need a little something sweet for my kiddoes after posting this blog.  Fortunately, everyone here loves fresh fruit.  This unusual and simple salad should do the trick.

Minted Grapefruit, Cherry and Strawberry Salad

Two red grapefruits, peeled and sectioned

2 cups fresh cherries, pitted

2 cups strawberries, halved or quartered

Dressing

3 tablespoons orange juice (or Triple Sec)

3 tablespoons honey

3 sprigs mint

Combine dressing ingredients in a small bowl and let macerate for at least 30 minutes.  In a large bowl, gently combine fruit.  Pour dressing over, straining out the mint.  Serve chilled.